"Happyness" : Happiness with a 'Why'

I have a habit a collecting lots of business cards from people I have met over the years. After all, "your network determines your net worth", right? But recently while cleaning up my office, I noted that only a small percentage of these "contacts" ever become "connections".
As a result, I am creating a Rolodex of all the people with whom I share core values, those I enjoy being around - the people that being around makes me Happy.

This idea that having fundamental principles and core values upon which to build relationships, businesses, and even one's life is not so novel, in and of itself, but to witness this idea driving a company from nothing to over $1 billion in gross merchandise sales in less than ten years is quite remarkable.

It's been nearly 6 wks since I received two advance copies of the new book by Tony Hsieh, Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose. I was honored to have the opportunity to share with each of my readers my honest review of the book. If you have never heard of Tony Hsieh, read on.

In 1999, at the age of 24, Tony Hsieh (pronounced Shay) sold LinkExchange, the company he co-founded, to Microsoft for $265 million. He then joined Zappos as an advisor and investor, and eventually became CEO, where he helped Zappos grow from almost no sales to over $1 billion in gross merchandise sales annually, while simultaneously making Fortune magazines annual Best Companies to Work For list. In November 2009, Zappos was acquired by Amazon.com in a deal valued at $1.2 billion on the day of closing. His first book, Delivering Happiness will be released on June 7.

Here's an excerpt:

When I ask people [What is your goal in life?], I get a lot of different answers. Some people say they want to start a company. Others people say they want to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. Others say they want to get healthy.
Whatever your response is, I'd like you to think about your answer to the follow-up question:
"Why?"
Depending on what they said before, people might say they want to retire early, or find a soul mate, or run faster.
Again, whatever your response to the previous question was, I'd like you to ask yourself:
"Why?"
The next set of answers people give might be so they can spend more time with their family, or get married, or run a marathon.
What's interesting is that if you keep asking yourself "Why" enough times, you'll find yourself arriving at the same answer that most people do when they repeatedly ask themselves why they are doing what the are doing: They believe that whatever they are pursuing in life will ultimately make them happier.

Sharing this excerpt, I was reminded of the opening scene in one of my favorite movies, The Pursuit of Happiness, Chris Gardner (played by Will Smith) told the daycare owner that "happyness" was misspelled saying there was no "Y" in 'happiness'. Well, we came to learn the "why" driving Chris' pursuit of happiness - his son. And as Tony writes in what is now one of my favorite books, "In the end, it turns out that we're all taking different paths in pursuit of the same goal: happiness."

Delivering Happiness may not make you prompt you to create your own "Happy Rolodex", but for anyone who still dreams dreams, this book is for you. The personal stories and insights into Tony's paths and lessons connect with readers from all walks and experiences. Delivering Happiness
demystifies the tenets of success and delivers in tangible terms.

If this is your first visit to ChoiceJourneys101, stay tuned. Over the coming days and weeks, in the spirit of entrepreneurship, education, and inspiration ChoiceJourneys101 will feature topics, excerpts and links surrounding the Delivering Happiness movement. Your are invited to provide comments and hook up with us on Twitter @choicejourneys.

To order your copy of the book, visit:
http://www.amazon.com/deliveringhappiness

To follow the Delivering Happiness Movement visit:
http://www.deliveringhappinessbook.com/

Resist the Urge to Criticize

When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.

If you attend a gathering and listen to all the criticism that is typically levied against others, and then go home and consider how much good all that criticism actually does to make our world a better place, you'll probably come up with the same answer that I do: Zero! It does no good. But that's not all. Being critical not only solves nothing; it contributes to the anger and distrust in our world. After all, none of us likes to be criticized. Our reaction to criticism is usually to become defensive and/or withdrawn. A person who feels attached is likely to do one of two things: he will either retreat in fear or shame, or he will attack or lash out in anger. How many times have you criticized someone and had them respond by saying, "Thank you so much for pointing out my flaws. I really appreciate it?"

Criticism, like swearing, is actually nothing more than a bad habit. It's something we get used to doing; we're familiar with how it feels. It keeps us busy and gives us something to talk about.

If, however, you take a moment to observe how you actually feel immediately after you criticize someone, you'll notice that you will feel a little deflated and ashamed, almost like you're the one who has been attacked. The reason this is true is that when we criticize, it's a statement to the world and to ourselves, "I have a need to be critical." This isn't something we are usually proud to admit.

The solution is to catch yourself in the act of being critical. Notice how often you do it and how bad it makes you feel. What I like to do is turn it into a game. I still catch myself being critical, but as my need to criticize arises, I try to remember to say to myself, "There I go again." Hopefully, more often than not, I can turn my criticism into tolerance and respect.

By Richard Carlson, Ph.D.